A Ringside Seat to a Christian Argument

Here's the text to my sermon for Sunday, September 7, 2008 based on Matthew 18:15-20

I was talking with some of the other pastors in town this week and we thought it was a cruel trick that the people who put the lectionary together play on us when they know that it is the opening day of Learning Time!

However, I think that this reading is a great reminder for us as we begin a new program year at People of Hope what we are a part of when we live as disciples of Jesus and we get along with each other.

When I was a chaplain intern in a hospital out in Oregon, the summer before I came to People of Hope, I worked with all kinds of different patients and their families and witnessed all kinds of different dynamics within those families. I was so new to being a chaplain though that I hardly felt prepared to bring spiritual wisdom and comfort to people who were often having experiences that dramatically changed the way they saw their lives. The reality was, I was scared. I was scared to approach the room of patients whose charts would say, “Patient has stated they are angry at God.” or “Patient and family have conflicting views for care.” What could I do to make the situation any better?

In these situations, I knew that several things could happen. If a patient was angry with God and I walked in as the chaplain, I could immediately become the target of the problem because I represent the thing that the patient is angry at. On the other hand, it could be a great comfort to a patient to have the chaplain show up and be able to tell someone who cares about God how angry they are about what has happened to them.

On one occasion, I walked into the room of a patient who had been diagnosed with pneumonia. He was in his 50s, married, had a daughter and a granddaughter. As I visited with him, I came to find out he had been a pretty heavy drinker in the past, a gambler who lost more than he won, he hopped from job to job always making enough to pay the bills, but not doing much else to support his family. His daughter was sitting there as we talked and would interject her perspective from time to time, often encouraging him to tell more details of the story and commentary on how his actions affected the rest of the family. I heard how she and her father had grown apart for years and how painful that was to her. I heard how things were getting better, but that this illness really scared her because she wasn’t sure if they’d have enough time to reconcile. I heard how he regretted so many of the things that he’d done in the past, how he thought that there was no way to regain a relationship with her. Without really trying to do anything but listen, I found myself in the middle of confrontation. It was the confrontation of the truth. But it was rooted in a deep desire for a closer relationship.

There are few Bible passages that challenge me more than this one. I don’t know about you, but growing up in Minnesota, I didn’t really learn much about confrontation or gain any appreciation for it…in fact it’s a swear word in some families I know…or so it seems.

We have been programmed in our Midwestern ways to be Minnesota nice, which from my estimation means that we accept what comes to us, nod and smile in agreement, don’t stir the water too much. We may even convince ourselves that everything will be ok over time. But it usually isn’t if left unaddressed.

Instead of talking to the person who’s offended us, we may even go to our friends or family who will agree with us and tell them how offended we were by what was said or done instead of bringing our grievance to the person who has caused us pain. Yet, what good does this do us in the long run? Sure we feel affirmed by the ones we know will agree with us, but there is still a distance growing between us and the one who’s offended us if we don’t go straight to the source to seek reconciliation and acceptance.

I said that I am challenged by Jesus’ words and directions here. This reading seems too legalistic. It has been abused by too many people, especially in the church over the centuries. It appears that this is a method for a power play for breaking someone who has been perceived to have done wrong.

But taking a closer look there is great wisdom here and a faithful way of dealing with conflict that leads to restored relationship instead of isolating dominance. Look at the reason that Jesus tells us to go to the one who’s offended…it’s so that they may be restored to the community.

Unlike many arguments we have in life, where our goal is to be right and for us to win our way, Jesus gives this instruction under the direction that the church, who is God’s family, is not called to argue for one’s own interests, but is called as a community to seek the interests of God.

In order for us to accomplish or even attempt this, we as the church need to be learners of God’s way, together. That is what a disciple is; a learner. As learners, we come humbly to this work of being and shaping the church. We have to assume that we don’t have it all figured out and that we will stumble along the way, but by God’s grace, we have enough figured out to be called the church.

And as God’s family, we know there are ways of living our lives that are more faithful to God than other ways of living. So we strive together toward living God’s ways of generosity, mercy, worship, justice, love, hospitality, and a commitment to God’s mission in the world. There are obviously others, but these are some of the big ones. So, if we agree on how we live together as the church we also agree to be accountable to one another.

If I do something that the church does not think is a characteristic of our Christian community, I hope you will tell me in love and in the interest of our shared commitment to the church.

It’s a like being a part of a family, right? Let’s say a mother brings her son to the park and he is playing on the playground with other kids. Now, little Johnnie starts picking up rocks and throwing them at the other kids. Does the mother show love in not correcting the child’s behavior? If that behavior continues to be allowed, it becomes normalized in that child’s life and by the time their in kindergarten, little Johnnie becomes the most feared kid in his class and soon isolated because he was not taught the rules of the community around him.

Jesus does not wish for us to be isolated or feared as the church in the world. In fact when we read the line, “If he ignores the community, deal with him as you would a heathen and a tax collector”, we may at first blush think this is the harshest and most radical thing Jesus could possibly say. But, then we remember who it was that Jesus chose to be with, the sinners and the tax collectors and we realize that the Jesus’ vision for the church is a place of radical inclusion that takes the process of learning to be disciples seriously.

This is why we have LT, small groups, this is our job as the church to instruct and model the ways of God for younger generations in our homes and in our communities.

Conflict is inevitable, being human is a messy job. We all make mistakes, we all fall short of Jesus’ vision for the church, and the expectations of our family and friends, just like my patient fell short of his family's expectations. As God's people we keep striving with one another toward Christ's vision for the church, lovingly encouraging each other, helping each other live in God’s ways, and seeking reconciliation with those who’ve offended us by accepting each other as fellow learners along the way.

Jesus leaves us at the end of this reading with the assurance that in our reconciliation and acceptance in the community, that when we gather with two or three of our friends of the church, Jesus is present, and ready to guide our actions and decisions, and open us to the mysteries of God and deeper relationships with each other.